


Not Forgotten

by AugustStories



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam Milligan is Not Forgotten, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s14e13 Lebanon, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 14:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21273035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AugustStories/pseuds/AugustStories
Summary: Before their father leaves for his own time again, Dean and Sam have another conversation with him about something they should have addressed among themselves so much earlier already.





	Not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Thinking about starting another series paralelly to my Season 15 Oneshots and calling it "The many ways Adam could have not been forgotten". We'll see if that happens.

"Dad?"

Dean wasn't sure if approaching this topic was a good idea, it was something that had hit him about an hour ago and now where his Mum had chased them all out of the kitchen because she wanted to do it alone and all alone, because only she could apparently get their Dad's old favourite dish right, it felt like a good moment to get to that thought.

It could be cathartic.

It could also be a complete and utter disaster.

But they were working with borrowed time now.

Soon enough their Dad would have to go back to his time and Dean didn't want to wake up tomorrow with regrets, with what ifs, with asking himself until all eternity if he would have felt better if only he had asked.

John looked away from the books he had been reading the backs off, he took one look at them – Dean with a surely serious face and potentially unsure eyes, Sam shuffling into the library behind him, privy to Dean's soon to be posed question but quiet ever since hearing it – and he immediately knew that something was gnawing on them.

"Sit down?" He wanted to know and Dean nodded, so they sat themselves down on one of the tables, John on one side, Dean and Sam on the other. "What's on your mind, boys?"

"Something that could very quickly turn very awkward," Dean started off and chanced a look over to his brother but Sam was picking at his sleeves, eyes set down on the tabletop. "About two years after you died," and yes that still was weird to say even though their Dad was hardly the first person who had returned to them in some way, "we got case and ehm, we got it because a boy called us, asking for you." John paled even before Dean was even ready to make a pause, "and he said he was your son."

"Adam," John gasped and Dean nodded, he didn't want to think about how unreal it had to appear. The version of his father he had sitting before him right now knew Adam as a thirteen year old kid, a son in whose life he had only stepped back into a year ago. A son he had made an active choice in to shield from all of hunting. "You found out about Adam..." Dean nodded, didn't know what else to do, he hardly knew the kid, he had hardly _known_ the kid, his brother. "What happened to him?"

"It's complicated," Sam spoke up for the first time, still not looking up, hands fiddling around with his sleeves because Dean knew they were shaking. Lucifer had been dead for months now but that ghost of the Cage would follow his brother forever. "And we actually don't really know, there might be more than one possible answer." Dean caught his father's eyes and knew he would have to explain more. He started at the beginning, talked about the case, about driving to Minnesota and being suspicious but still agreeing to help the kid find his Mum, about finding the dead bodies and finding out the truth about the ghouls and their intentions.

"We gave him a hunter's funeral. He was a Winchester," he finished a little weakly when his Dad pressed a hand over his face. And Dean hated that it didn't stop there, it was already bad to hear for sure that the son you tried so hard to protect and shelter from the dangers of the supernatural had lost his life because some monsters had a vendetta against his father, that an innocent woman had suffered as well, but to hear what came next... He took a deep breath and pressed his knee against Sam's under the table, "unfortunately it doesn't end there. A few weeks before the Apocalypse showdown, the angels brought Adam back. The real Adam, not some monster posing as him."

He weaved into why briefly and then told his Dad about how they had tried to convince Adam that the angels were dicks and liars but that the angels had kept on tricking him.

"I had them," he also had to swallow hard when he thought back to that moment where they had lost Adam, "Zachariah was dead, and I just needed to get them out of that room but I was too late for Adam. He had to be so scared. He said yes to the Archangel Michael."

"But you said..." and his Dad's eyes flickered over to Sam who was still staring hard at the table, hands clutching at his elbows now. "He is still there?"

"We don't know," Sam croaked out and Dean dropped one hand below the table to squeeze his brother's knee. "Archangels, they, they can burn a vessel out quite easily or keep them locked away deeply. We've got some experiences with that over the years. Sometimes they can even let their vessel's soul move on. But we don't know what Michael chose to do. I don't... I don't have memories of Adam from the Cage."

"Dad... why didn't you tell us? I mean I can't blame you for the years you haven't lived yet but you've known for a year already. Why didn't you tell me?" He changed his question slightly when he awkwardly remembered that his Dad currently lived at a point of time where Sam and him weren't talking, where Sam was somewhere between freshman and sophomore year of college. For his Dad Sam was currently as old as Adam was when they had met him, it was unbelievable how long ago that had been. "I understand that you wanted to protect him but what were you expecting? That I was gonna drag him into it?"

"I don't know why I will never... didn't tell you, Dean. The point I'm at now? The point where I got zapped away from? I was coming back from seeing Adam," and damn Dean Winchester, you had a knick for wrong timed questions. The man had just spent some days with his youngest son who was a freaking kid still, fucking thirteen, all squeaky voice and collecting baseball cards. And now he had told him that kid was gonna lost his mother and his own life to monsters and then come back from the dead to play dress for a bloody Archangel and then got dropped into the pit and was admittedly forgotten too often by them.

Because it hurt so goddamn much.

"And as I was driving away I told myself I was gonna tell you when I came back to you, that I was gonna call Sam as well." Their Dad's words prompted even Sam to look up again, and Dean gave himself a moment to think about how it could have been. To have another little brother, one who could live a life that hadn't been granted to them. He was sure he would have reacted differently if he had learned about Adam from his Dad and not just through a phonecall by a frightened kid, and he would have done his best to protect the kid, to ensure that at least one Winchester out there would have been able to keep his innocence. "I can't tell you why I won't go through with it... Does Mary know?"

"I know," Mum surprised them with her soft answer from the doorway and they all turned around, "and it's not like I was angry or felt cheated on, John. I had been dead for like what, nearly seven years at that point? I'm just sad I never got a chance to meet the boy. Now, set the table, food is ready in a few minutes."

\--

After their Dad was gone again and Cas reappeared, their Cas, the Cas who was their brother, their friend, who knew them, their Mum excused herself, wanted some time alone, which Dean could only understand. Sam didn't want to talk but also didn't want to be alone so they sat in the TV room while Dean tried to explain everything that had happened to Cas.

And once that was done, silence fell over them.

Sam's head was somewhere very far away, curled up in that armchair like he was trying to be so small. Cas, sharing the couch with Dean, looked thoughtful as well, Dean didn't know if he wanted to imagine what was going on in his head. He had healed them both of their scrapes, bruises they had gotten from the very same hands in a way. And though Dean would never want it, he knew that Cas would turn it around in some way to feel guilty about it, no matter that it hadn't been his fault.

Dean's own mind was locked on something that he hadn't expected after how the last weeks and days had been going, but now this thought was there and he needed to do something about it.

"Guys," he drew the other two's attention, "when this is solved," he tapped his temple, wincing a little when a headache flared up in response, "when this is over, we need to find out what happened to Adam." He looked up, saw Cas nod in understanding and then met his brother's redrimmed tired eyes. "We need to find out where he is. And if he's still down there, we need to save him. He's family."

**Author's Note:**

> I know this doesn't have a satisfying ending but considering that Adam's story doesn't have one (yet) either, I'm rather happy with this open scenario.


End file.
